Show me you can stand alone
Show me who you are
I can see you up so close
From the furthest star
Do you keep your secrets
Are they locked within
So quick to bite your tongue
Thinking you have sinned
Cleanse your heart dear loved one
You have set me free
Let go of the guilt you hold
For I finally see
So when the rain falls
Think of me and know
I will always love you
For you have let me go
*Dedicated to those who have assisted a loved one to the final steps of their lives.
I have, and it was one of the most difficult decisions I ever faced. It’s a moment in my life I will never forget. It’s a sensitive topic that needs to be addressed.
You have so many conflicting thoughts at this moment:
● What if the person isn’t ready?
● What if they could recover?
● Am I killing them?
● Will they hate me?
I get many questions regarding removing someone from life support or pulling the plug as it is called. I decided to write this post and answer some of those questions so that if you’ve had to make this decision in the past you can have closure. Facing this choice in the future you will have guidance.
Deciding to end life support is never easy
This is a heartbreaking decision to make. It comes at a time that there is already so much stress and confusion. Many people, including myself, have faced taking a loved one off life support and watching them pass away.
At the end your left thinking, “have I contributed to their death,” “are we terminating their life too soon” or “are they upset with us.”
It’s my hope that knowing your loved one understands your decision and is thankful you made this hard choice on their behalf.
This post deals with the spiritual aspects of ending life support, but there is a medical side that should also be considered. The Canadian Virtual Hospice website is a good place to begin your education.
This death was chosen
Prior to being born a soul chooses five different possible deaths for it to leave this world by. I’ve written about the process of a soul choosing how it’s body will die extensively in my post What Happens When We Die.
A soul going through to the other side has already decided on 5 exits from this earthly plane. It has chosen five different deaths.
Your loved one, lying in a hospital bed, hooked up to life support, intended for this to happen. They decided on this fate. Someone connected to a life support system wouldn’t survive without it.
Speak to the physicians
This post is not urging you to make a hasty decision. Miracles do happen, people return from the brink of death and go on to live the life they were meant for. The first thing you should do, when making this decision, is speak with physicians, find out what they are suggesting.
What is their advice? What is their prognosis? Is there a chance for recovery? What will life be like for this person if they continue to live? Will they walk, talk, and function in any capacity? Most importantly ask yourself, will they enjoy their life?
Speak to the family
This is extremely difficult. Regardless of what decision you make there will be family members that disagree with you. Letting other family members voice their opinions is to protect your relationship with them, after all, your life will continue on after this decision is made.
The US National Library of Medicine has recognized the difficulty that goes along with this conversation and to help ease the pain of it created a post about communicating with family members.
Souls don’t have negative emotions
When a person crosses through their soul knows it has been disconnected. The soul knows the experience, it understands what happened, however, it doesn’t feel that experience emotionally, physically or mentally as it has no more ego. They remember it but they don’t associate it with any pain or negative emotions.
Souls have a profound capacity for understanding our truest intentions. If you made a decision with unselfishness and love in your heart they know this. They will see it to be a loving act, that you let them go.
They recognize you love them so much you can’t stand to see them suffer. You’re not euthanizing that person, you’re stopping the treatment preventing them from being at rest. You’re putting an end to their prolonged suffering.
The last thing you should know
I don’t think it is inhumane to let someone go. To stop someone’s suffering is a kind, loving act. A person crossing over is never upset with us and knows how much we love them. They know it’s a hard decision that takes significant love.
Speak to the doctors and make sure you’re comfortable with it and ready to say goodbye. Not everyone will agree but you need to follow your heart when you make these decisions. They are acts of love and the soul understands.
If taking a loved one off life support is a decision you have faced in the past you know how hard it is. If this is a decision you expect to face in the future, I hope you feel more prepared for it.
If you have more unanswered questions or you want to keep this conversation going, join us in My Infinity Family.
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