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When you left I felt so lost,
Taxed my heart at such a cost,
Let your life slip from my hand,
My world now faced without a plan, 

What do I do, where do I go,
Will you find me when I bow,
At the foot of where you slept,
Or where it was you laid to rest,

I do not cry, I stay so strong,
But I can’t help the way I long,
For you to be here by side,
To feel your warmth, I’d give my life, 

Now that you’ve gone so far away,
I hope you do stop by I pray,
With open arms, I hope you’ll try,
To reach me from the heaven’s sky…

Danielle’s Greatest Fear

Danielle obsessed over her fear of dying – especially alone. She wondered every minute of the day whether she was going die while she was alone, perhaps doing the dishes, sleeping or using the restroom.

She dreamt up scenarios that to most would sound off the wall, but for her, this was a reality she faced every single day!

To further add to her stress, she imagined what her dead body would look like. Whether she would be found in an embarrassing state. If her hair and makeup would look good. If her clothes would be nice, or even if she would be found at all! What if she was found too late, her body decomposing and unrecognizable to anybody? Her fear was real!

Danielle isn’t alone. An uncontrollable anxiety around dying and death is common. Clinically it is referred to as thanatophobia, a term first coined by Sigmund Freud and referencing the greek figure of death, Thanatos.

girl sleeping afraid of deathWhy Do We Fear Dying

I’ve learned from my practice, most people who are afraid of dying or dying alone are also afraid of sleeping. They fear the experiencing of death because they have never died before.

There are so many human experiences that we go through in our lifetimes, but dying is the final experience of all, the final curtain call! What’s after that? Unless they’ve experienced dying before, the fear is real.

I also put the fear of undergoing medical procedures under the same umbrella. Most people don’t fear the outcome of a surgery, what they fear is not waking up from the anesthetic.

People fear not being able to control what’s going on because they’re in an uncontrolled, medically induced, unconscious state. ‘Will I wake up?’ is the biggest question most people ask themselves.

It’s the lack of control that we experience under anesthesia, during sleep and at the moment of death that frightens us.

Fearing your own death can also be caused by a deep fear of the unknown. The website psychics.co.uk explains what is waiting for after we die.

don't fear death Medium Jay LaneIt’s Time to Stop Fearing Death

It’s human to fear death. We wake up everyday thinking about living – not dying, but we know subconsciously, that this day might be our last.

Some people fear not being able to say their goodbyes, others fear not being able to live the way they had imagined their lives to be. To that, I say “take a deep breath and keep living until you stop.”

I tell people that they won’t remember dying, just like they do not remember the act of being born. It would be too traumatic to relive your birth. It’s the same as your exit, you won’t remember the act of dying.

There is an instant body to soul transformation which takes place when a person dies. The subconscious separates from the conscious being which is quite an incredible process. The body dies, the soul does not. The body stays behind, the soul does not. The body decays and is disposed of, the soul returns to its original state, the state in which it existed before we came into being.

It’s safe to say that the Soul does not take the ego back to its original state. The ego is something which is human in nature and that stays with its host, the body. The soul, which returns home, is now free of emotional, physical and mental characteristics. It remains pure and light and euphoric.

If we had to remember where we came from, we wouldn’t want to be here. We’d all want to be in Soul-form or as we say here, in Spirit.

Psychic medium Erin Pavlina also has some advice about how to stop fearing death

serious man and woman Medium Jay LaneSelena’s Guilt

Selena had a more than difficult start on this fateful day! She was running behind before leaving for an overtime shift she had to fulfill. Grabbing her purse, she ran out the door past Rob quickly giving him instructions on what needed to be done around the house.

They had an argument earlier that morning about her working too much, so she was feeling stressed when she left. As she got to work, she turned off the ringer to her cell phone to avoid texts or calls and went on with her day.

She put in five full hours before she decided to take a break and check her phone. She found 2 messages, both from the hospital. They had been desperately trying to reach her.

When Selena arrived at the hospital, she learned that Rob had suffered a heart attack shortly after she left while mowing the lawn. The neighbor saw him collapse and called an ambulance, but Rob passed away moments before Selena entered the hospital room.

Not only did Selena feel guilty for arguing with Rob that morning and for turning her ringer off, she felt even guiltier about the fact that Rob had died alone. She imagined him suffering and helpless. Afraid of what was happening to him.

Rob and Selena were Soulmates from the 9th grade on. They had promised each other that they would be there in sickness and in death, a promise she felt she had broken. She couldn’t let go of the fact that she argued with him that morning and that she wasn’t there to hold his hand while he was dying.

What If We Can’t Be There When A Loved One Dies

There are so many possible scenarios when it comes to life’s ups and downs, but essentially, it’s absolutely human to feel this way!

Selena believed Rob’s Soul was still carrying its human suffering because of the events that took place earlier that day. We imagine our loved ones carrying their suffering as though they’re still human, but that’s not the case.

Selena’s story reminds me of a quote:

Death ends a life, not a relationship.”
Mitch Albom, Tuesdays With Morrie: An Old Man, a Young Man, and Life’s Greatest Lesson

Maybe if Selena had read that it would have helped her. Don’t hesitate to turn to art of different mediums when you’re dealing with tough times in your own life. Music, visual arts and written works can help when grieving.

The soul is totally transformed once it leaves the body, it doesn’t take along all of these human emotional, physical or mental feelings.

soul happy to be back where it came from Medium Jay LaneEvery Death Is Intended

In both of these cases, the Soul knows that its body died. It knows what it died of, and how it died, but is not preoccupied with those thoughts whatsoever.  It’s a human function, to consciously be aware of your mortality, thinking that you transfer human experiences to the other side, but It’s not so.

Once the Soul crosses through, it is so excited and happy to be back to its original state. It’s not possible for a Soul to feel human emotions. The Soul lives in the moment and unfolds like a dream of whatever it is that they desire.

The Soul understands the human ego and it understands our human emotions. If we are feeling guilty, they don’t feel bad. They don’t have the ability to do so. They understand that we are having a human moment and that we will soon understand our Soul’s Purpose, once we reunite as one, on the other side.

Death is celebrated in this state of consciousness. It’s always good to be back home.

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